


boys

by buu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 04:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2940728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buu/pseuds/buu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before, if Suga had been asked to pick a type, he would have hummed and thought it over, maybe said something vague like “nice eyes” or “nice legs” or “a good personality”. Now, he can only think “Daichi”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	boys

**Author's Note:**

> some daisuga for people who have asked for it ????? (╯•﹏•╰) sry if it's bad,,

Sugawara Koushi likes boys. He has known this for a while, since his classmates start talking about girls and Suga finds he just doesn't get it. Objectively, girls are pretty, but Suga has always preferred boys, broad shoulders and strong jaws and smiles that do weird things to his heart.

He's quiet about it, though. It's something nobody has to know about, something he doesn't plan on doing anything with. He knows he's different from the moment the boys in his class show him a swimsuit magazine and ask him to pick out his favorite, and he hesitates and says he doesn't know. He's teased for the rest of the day, red-faced and with the realization that what he is isn't normal. So he keeps it on the down-low, pretends to be interested in the magazines the boys from class stick under his nose, points to the girl he thinks is the most acceptable for him to probably like.

It's okay, for the most part, because he never really has any issues. There are boys he thinks are cute, but not to the point where it's enough for him to lose sleep over, and he's too scared to make any moves. He sticks with being happy for his friends when they come to him with crushes, ask him for advice (for some reason, he has no idea), and sitting and thinking about what would happen if he ever really did find a guy he wanted to ask out. And that's not even the hard part; the asking out is where it's tough.

And then Suga meets Sawamura Daichi.

He's broad and athletic and handsome and everything Suga never knew he wanted. He has nice arms and nice legs and probably a nice butt if Suga would let himself look, but he thinks it'll be too obvious, settles for the soft hair at the nape of his neck. They're trying out for the volleyball team, and Daichi is the kind of guy who makes friends easily, saunters up to Suga and introduces himself and shakes hands and god, Suga feels like he's breaking out in a cold sweat. 

Suga somehow manages not to stutter his name. His hand must be clammy, this boy will know, he has to know that Suga thinks he is unbearably attractive—but nothing happens. Daichi just firmly shakes his hand and says he hopes they can work well together, and turns one of his easy smiles on Suga.

It's more than Suga could hope for, honestly. They both make the team, and when Daichi congratulates him, he thinks he's melting. He's sure he'll never even be able to make friends with this boy without falling all over himself, but as the days and weeks and months pass, they get surprisingly close, because Daichi is easy to talk to, straightforward and honest, and Suga has always been good at making friends, if he does say so himself. And Daichi is so easy to be around, sometimes Suga forgets the way his heart pounds when they're alone together. Sometimes he thinks that hey, he can do this, because as they get to know each other and play together and Suga sees Daichi's strong-shouldered determination, he thinks that this boy is someone he really, really wouldn't mind being friends with.

Xxx

Before, if Suga had been asked to pick a type, he would have hummed and thought it over, maybe said something vague like “nice eyes” or “nice legs” or “a good personality”. Now, he can only think “Daichi”.

Suga learns that Daichi laughs loudly and easily, that he can turn dead serious at the drop of a hat, that he's got two smiles, one that melts Suga's insides and one that makes his blood run cold. Daichi warms up to him quickly, too, and they spend most days together, eating lunch.

There's another person Daichi ropes into their group, tall and timid Asahi, and Suga's relieved that it's not awkward, that being around the two of them is just like if he were any normal guy who thought about girls in his spare time. And they do talk about girls; or Daichi does, mostly, and that's where the problem is.

Daichi is almost 100% straight, Suga is sure of it. He hadn't held much hope to begin with, because he knows he's different, and that it's rare to meet someone else who might want to give him a chance, but even the small hope that maybe something will happen with this cute boy he's just met is quickly tucked back where it came from. Daichi's fairly popular with girls in his class, members of the female volleyball team, former classmates. He never seems to notice, really, and Suga and Asahi both find themselves waiting patiently while girls catch Daichi in the halls, hint that they want to maybe study with him. “Study”, Suga thinks, feeling a tiny bit bitter. He wishes he could ask Daichi to study.

Or at least, not in the way they do study. Daichi has started coming to his house often enough, and Suga to Daichi's; he's not sure when it starts, maybe one day when they both groan over grades and Daichi suggests it, and the first time he enters Daichi's plain room Suga finds his hands clammy and his mind unable to focus on anything but the way Daichi folds his clothes or makes his bed or the baubles he has scattered around the room, or the way he looks when he's trying to solve a math problem.

Asahi comes, sometimes, and it's honestly better with him there, because Suga doesn't feel in danger of doing something stupid like placing his hand over Daichi's or blurting out “I like you”.

Suga thinks it might pass, when there are three of them. He thinks being around a regular friend group where he doesn't have time to think about just Daichi, Daichi, Daichi will make things better, and he's fooling himself into thinking it's working when Asahi catches him one day after practice.

“Suga,” he says, playing with his fingers in a nervous habit. Suga smiles and tilts his head, because this sounds a lot like when someone comes to him for advice. His smile is still there when Asahi blurts it out, frozen in place like it doesn't know where to go.

“Are you going to tell him?”

Suga says he doesn't know what Asahi is talking about, insists he's being silly and Asahi looks embarrassed, rakes his fingers through his hair and apologizes. Suga sees the way he looks at him, though, like he's doing it out of courtesy, like he doesn't really believe the words coming out of Suga's mouth any more than Suga does. Words like “of course I don't like him” and “we're close friends, that's all”.

He spends the rest of the night avoiding texts from Daichi, curled up on his bed eating comfort food he's picked up from the convenience store. He tries to be mad at Asahi, but he can't, because being mad at Asahi is like being mad at a big puppy, one who jumps at his own shadow, and the only one Suga has any right to be mad with is himself.

That doesn't stop him from trying, though, pinning the blame on Daichi for being so nice and friendly and warm and attractive and-

Suga throws his pillow at the wall.

Xxx

By their third year, they're close. Really close, so close Suga considers Daichi his best friend and Daichi has told him, at night when they're laughing over something on TV, that Suga's his best friend, too. It makes his chest swell up with pride and affection but there's also a pang of bitterness there, that they can never be more than just best friends. Suga will take it, though, because he cares about Daichi so much he sometimes thinks it will drive him crazy.

Being best friends means there are some boundaries that get pushed, sometimes. Boundaries like personal space, which Daichi seems to be worrying less and less about as time goes on. Suga's torn between excitement and guilt when Daichi slings an arm around his waist and yanks him close to ruffle his hair, because he's sure the racing of his heart isn't what Daichi means to cause when he does this good-natured roughhousing that he scolds the younger members for. Suga scolds him back when he breaks away, smile on his face and to the awe of the first years as he roughly tousles Daichi's hair back.

They talk about girls, sometimes, which is how Suga knows exactly what Daichi's type is. Medium height, dark hair, female. So, basically, anyone but Suga.

He has to get over this, and he knows it. It's been three years, now, of laughing when Daichi slings an arm around his shoulder and pretending he doesn't wish he was doing it for another reason.

“You have to tell him,” Asahi says gently, one day when they're studying at his place. Or at least, Asahi is studying, and Suga is doodling glumly in the margins of his notebook. “You know he wouldn't think any different of you.”

Suga knows, he knows, but maybe that's what he's afraid of.

Xxx

It's unintentional when Suga tells him, slips out of his mouth before he can decide not to say it.

“I don't like girls.”

It's there, hanging in the air between them while Daichi blinks and processes what he's said. They're talking about girls again, and Daichi is asking why Suga rejects the ones who ask him out. Never once has he accepted, and although he rejects them amicably, he still feels bad about it, because that's Suga's nature and he has nothing against girls, really, just that they aren't Daichi. Nobody is Daichi.

“Oh,” Daichi says, and Suga feels like curling into himself because now Daichi will be suspicious, think that Suga wants him, and he does, but he likes to think that he hides it well enough.

But then there's a warm hand on his shoulder and Suga looks back to see Daichi, lopsided grin. “You could have told me before, you know? Then I wouldn't have kept bothering you about girls.”

The ache in Suga's chest is back because Daichi is too good.

Except then Daichi is awkwardly asking him what sort of guys he likes and Suga knows his face is turning red, and he's scared Daichi will see right through him and know and get up and walk away and Suga will be less one friend, but at least Asahi will be there to listen to him complain into his pillow like he does some days.

Suga ends up stuttering through it, praying that Daichi thinks he's flustered because he's just accidentally come out, and when their conversation ends with Daichi laughing and that warm hand on his shoulder, Suga thanks whatever gods are out there that he's avoided judgment day.

Xxx

Daichi continues to act normally around him, and if Suga is being honest, it's a little relieving to have someone other than Asahi know. At the same time, it cements the fact that Daichi will never feel the same way, and has Suga pushing himself even harder to get over it. He backs off a little, telling Daichi he's got other plans when he invites him over, pretending he has to stop by his class after practice some days just so he doesn't end up walking so close to Daichi on the way home, thinking about what it would be like if he could maybe grab his friend's hand.

“Are you dating someone?” Daichi asks one day, the third weekend in a row Suga has declined to stay the night. He likes Daichi's house, it's warm and familiar by now, his parents are as straightforward and good-natured as he is and he likes them well enough, but it's hard to lie on the floor of someone he sometimes thinks about sleeping in the same bed with. It's hard to listen to Daichi breathe deeply when he's asleep, to resist slipping out of his futon to peer at the sleeping face he's already seen plenty but never gets tired of.

“Of course not,” Suga says with a smile, assuring Daichi he'd tell him if he was. Daichi has a weird look on his face and then says good, because he needs to approve, before grabbing Suga's arm and dragging him down the road towards his house.

Suga ends up staying the night against his better judgment, because when he goes to leave Daichi fixes him with this look that says he knows Suga's lying, and he really, really, really wants to stay, to sit close to Daichi on the couch while they watch some movie he's picked out and pretend maybe it's not so platonic.

And then Suga gets his first confession from a boy, and that's when Daichi starts acting weird.

Suga rejects him, of course, because he still isn't ready to give up this dumb crush of his, but when he laughingly tells Daichi about it, Daichi looks a touch uncomfortable. Suga could kick himself for talking about this freely when he knows it might weird Daichi out.

He shrugs it off, thinks that of course Daichi wouldn't get upset by that after all this time knowing, but when Suga grabs his arm during practice to tell him something and Daichi freezes for a split second, he knows he's messed up somehow, because Daichi has never, ever done that.

Suga vows to keep his hands to himself, lies in bed that night searching on his phone “how to get over a stupid pointless crush on a really cute straight guy who is your best friend”.

Xxx

“You've been...kinda distant lately,” Daichi says one day during lunch, Suga opposite him at the table. It's true, but Suga thought that Daichi would be okay with that since he'd been acting weird.

Suga smiles and punches Daichi in the shoulder and teases him for worrying. “You'd be the first person to know if something's up,” he says, and it's almost not a lie because if it were anything else, he really would be the first to know. He's the first to know when Suga is sick, when he's failed a test, when he just is having a bad day, and it's the same for Daichi.

Daichi looks a little skeptical, but he lets it slide when Suga slides a hand into his hair and ruffles it, holding his breath until Daichi just laughs and shoves him off. He's relieved to see some things are still okay, although the way Daichi's hand tightens around his wrist is a little...different. Suga isn't sure if he's trying to say he wants him to stop, or it's okay, but then again Daichi's always been very honest about what he feels and if he didn't like it, he'd say so.

Or at least, that's what Suga believes. He's known him long enough now. Long enough to know that the way Daichi brushes their shoulders is nothing but platonic, the way he grabs Suga's wrist is just to show him a play he's thought up for an upcoming match. Suga catches his eyes a few times on the court, shoots him a smile and Daichi glances away, which is sort of strange, but then maybe he's the one who is looking at Daichi too much again.

He tries his best to keep as much space between them while still making sure it's not suspicious, but it's hard, because of how close they've gotten. It's not unusual for Suga to rest his legs on Daichi's lap while they study, and although he's been telling himself to knock it off, he hasn't gotten around to it until now. He hasn't gotten around to a lot of things, and he knows that he really has no excuse.

Daichi's just too...Daichi for him to really want to try.

Xxx

Apparently, Suga hasn't known him long enough.

Daichi keeps acting sort of off, spacing out during their conversations which he never, ever does, until Suga's the one asking if he's okay. Daichi raises his eyebrows and says of course like he doesn't realize he hasn't been paying attention to Suga explaining the homework to him. 

Suga knows he's guilty of this sometimes too, when he's tired or distracted by the way Daichi looks when he's talking. Still, Daichi is a very focused sort of person, and he's never really been one to let himself get distracted when it comes to something important.

But Suga ignores it, telling himself it's all fine, maybe he's just tired or something.

And then, one day while he's on his way to find Daichi for practice, because they always walk together, it happens. There's Daichi, and Suga's about to call out to him, to wave like he usually does, but his eye catches long brown hair and a cute, shy face and the very distinct girls' uniform.

He knows Daichi has been confessed to before. He's the team captain, he's good at what he does, and he's pretty good-looking, Suga's personal opinion aside. This is the first time Suga's seen it, though, and he realizes that Daichi looks good with a girl like that, tall and broad-shouldered and just, he belongs like that, and Suga's realizing that it's hopeless and he hates it and he hates the fact that he just had to fall hopelessly in love with this guy.

Before Daichi can turn and see him, Suga hurries off, snapping out his phone and texting Daichi that he isn't feeling well, that he won't be coming to practice and peppering it with emoji so it seems like a valid excuse. He's hurrying home when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

He ignores it, because there's a sticky sick feeling in his stomach that he just doesn't want to confront just yet.

It's not until he's at home, huddled up under his sheets that he checks his phone to make sure the text is actually from Daichi and nobody is wondering where he is. He's expecting a scolding for missing practice, or a get well soon. What he's not expecting is the “we need to talk” and the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he knows has been coming for a long time. Somehow, Daichi must have found out, and this is it, he's going to get shot down.

At least then maybe he can get over it.

Suga mopes around for a little, texts a message back to a worried Asahi that's he's fine, just a little sick, and then takes a bath. He's feeling a little better when his skin is warm and clean and his body is sleepy, slipping into pajamas, ignoring the jacket that Daichi had left at his house a few weeks ago and never picked up.

He's padding into the kitchen for a snack, comfort food, when there's a knock at the door. It's 7, past the time anyone usually would come knocking, and he unthinkingly goes to open it.

Immediately, he wishes he hadn't, because there's Daichi and oh god, he's not ready for this, he'd expected at least waiting until tomorrow, and he's in his pajamas and this is such an embarrassing way to be rejected but he lets Daichi in anyway because if Suga is anything, it's a good host.

They go up to his room, Daichi talking about practice with a nervous laugh in his voice, and at least it's as hard for him as it's going to be for Suga, probably. Daichi is the kind of guy to do it properly, at least. Maybe he's even got a girlfriend now, the one confessing to him after class, and maybe that's what is bringing this whole thing to a messy end.

Suga closes the door behind them and grins, hoping it's not lopsided like the way he's feeling.

“Suga,” Daichi finally says. They're sitting on Suga's bed, and Daichi's looking at the floor, something Suga absently notes is very unlike him.

“Daichi,” he replies, jokingly, hoping to ease the tension he can feel crawling up his spine, and he sees Daichi grin before he coughs and shakes his head like he's trying to be serious, here.

Suga waits expectantly, although he secretly hopes this will drag out as long as possible so he can pretend he still has maybe a tiny, tiny bit of a chance with Daichi before it is officially Over. And then Daichi's eyes are flickering up to his, and Daichi feels his cheeks flush and hopes sincerely he doesn't do anything stupid like cry, because here it is-

“I guess I should come out and say it.” Daichi tilts his head back like when he's setting himself to pep-talk the team. “I've never done this before, and maybe I'm wrong. We've been friends for a while now, right?”

He can feel it coming now, chews at his lip. “Yeah,” he says, “I guess it's been a while, huh?”

“Yeah, a while.” Daichi trails off, looking absently at what is probably Suga's knee. Suga tilts himself to try and meet Daichi's gaze, because he sort of wants to get this over with, and Daichi sheepishly looks back up at him. “And I know you told me you...you don't like girls, which is okay. I mean, of course it's okay. I like girls.”

I know, Suga thinks glumly, of course he knows. Daichi is just rubbing it in now.

“I like girls,” he says again, like he's trying to make it clear. “But I don't want to date any of them.”

“Look,” Suga's spilling out before he can even register what Daichi's saying, “I know you like girls, and I promise I'm not expecting anything weird, you're—the only reason I told you is just that—I'm not expecting anything-”

“Suga,” Daichi says, while Suga keeps babbling. “Suga. Sugawara. Koushi!”

Daichi's voice is harsh and loud in the room and it effectively has Suga's words stopping in his mouth as he blinks. This is the voice Daichi uses to scold the team with, and it's rare he uses it with Suga. He thinks Daichi is mad for a second until he sees him run a hand through his short hair, breathe in like he's trying to catch his breath.

“Jeez, listen to me. You're worse than Kageyama and Hinata sometimes.” And Suga cracks a grin at that because yeah, they're the worst when it comes to this kind of thing. “Okay, I know the fact that you like guys doesn't mean you necessarily like me. I've been told that much. But I think...I mean, you don't, right?”

Here it is. Maybe Suga should just tell him, yes, I like you, I've liked you, I can't stop liking you, and he opens his mouth but the words die in his throat because he's still not ready to say that. Daichi's looking at him like he's trying to see right through him and Suga contemplates just throwing his pillow in Daichi's face and making a run for it. He's decent at running.

“Yeah, I thought so.” Maybe this will end okay, with Daichi just confirming their status as platonic bros, and Suga continuing to rip his hair out over the way Daichi smiles. But he keeps going, like he wants to keep torturing Suga for god knows what reason. “Shit, I told...I told you I've never done this before, right? I guess I should just say it.”

“Yeah,” Suga says, and steels himself.

“Thinking about you dating some other guy drives me crazy.” Daichi's voice is steady and unwavering and Suga's still staring him in the eyes because he owes him that much, he thinks. Maybe he's actually fainted because he doesn't understand what he's saying. “You've been driving me crazy, and I don't like guys, I'm pretty sure, but you're you, and you're—like I've said, we've been close for a while and I just. I guess what I'm saying is you're really my number two.”

Obviously, Suga's his number two, his jersey says so, so there's no reason for his heart to be speeding up like this because Daichi can't possibly be saying what he wants to think he's saying. He's been fantasizing about this so much that he's actually imagining it, right now, without meaning to.

Daichi is getting close now, and Suga doesn't have the energy to move back like he wants to, which Daichi apparently takes as an okay to slide in and bump their lips together.

Suga does the only thing he can think of.

He punches Daichi right in the stomach.

As soon as he sees Daichi doubled up on the bed Suga is hovering over him and oh god, he says, I'm so sorry, because that looks like it actually hurt. Daichi is wincing and clutching his stomach.

“I guess I deserved that,” he wheezes, Suga's hand on his shoulder. His lips feel warm and suddenly he's remembering, realizing that Daichi has just kissed him, and he has to be dreaming and his face feels so, so warm and there's something wet and hot sliding down his face-

“Shit,” Daichi's sitting up, raising his hands like he wants to touch Suga but also doesn't know if he should. “I'm sorry, I messed up-”

“No,” it's Suga's turn to wheeze. He touches a hand to his face and is horrified to see it come away damp with what is no-doubt tears. “I mean, yeah. Yes and no.” He keeps his voice steady.

Daichi is stammering that he's jumped to conclusions, that he's sorry and they can forget it ever happened and oh man, he's going to kill Asahi later for even suggesting this and then the bed is dipping and he's getting up to go and that's not right, not at all. Suga's arm shoots out, clamps around his wrist.

“I do like you,” he says, finally, and when it rushes out of him he feels like a dam has broken and the relief is immense. The world doesn't end, and Daichi doesn't hate him, if the look on his face is anything to go by.

Suga tugs him back down and throws his arms around Daichi's warm, firm shoulders, the ones he admires on the court, just to make sure he's actually real. He's laughing hysterically into his jacket, and Daichi's awkward hand on his back tells him he probably sounds like he's gone crazy, but he feels like it.

“I've liked you for so long,” Suga says, and Daichi's hand freezes, and it has Suga laughing all over again because jeez, he really hadn't noticed, he'd been worried for nothing.

For absolutely nothing, apparently, because when Suga pulls back and presses their lips together again, Daichi doesn't move away. This is not the first kiss for either of them, but it might as well be with the way it heats up Suga's cheeks and his chest. Suga ends up propped on Daichi's chest, rough fingers scrubbing at the wet on his cheeks as Daichi looks up at him sheepishly.

“You coulda said something,” he says, finally, and Suga beams at him.

“I just did.”

Xxx

Nothing much changes, really. They're as close as every, but now Suga can touch Daichi the way he wants, slide his fingers down the muscles of his arm to his broad hand and lace them together, and Daichi doesn't move away or flinch or anything. Suga still admires his strong legs, strong arms, the way sweat drips down his face and his neck when he's playing hard, but now he doesn't feel guilty about it at all. Now he mentions it to Daichi while they're walking home together, and laughs at the way Daichi's face heats up and he denies everything.

Maybe a lot changes, though, because Daichi will pull him in for a kiss when he's not expecting it, awkward and straightforward, very Daichi, and wonderful and Suga never gets tired of the seeping warmth in his chest when he pulls back and sees Daichi's embarrassed face, the one he doesn't see all that often. Suga kisses him, too, quick and often, because he can. Because he can, and because Daichi smiles when he does, and it's something Suga never, ever gets tired of seeing.

Asahi just shakes his head and smiles when he sees their hands together, and Suga sticks his tongue out and promises to get him back later for having Daichi scare the living daylights out of him with that confession. He doesn't even really mind, though, because now when they sleep over they share a bed, pressed up against each other and it's everything Suga has always imagined but better. Daichi is warm and likes to run his fingers over Suga's cheek, the beauty mark below his eye and it makes Suga feel like he's glowing.

“It was hard to watch you look at each other like that,” Asahi admits, sheepish, when Suga corners him later. He gets off with just a smack on the head, because he's Asahi.

Suga's been head over heels for Daichi since they met, and now when he tells him, there's a teasing tone in his voice because it's all silly to him now, having worried so much about what Daichi thinks of him when he can make him gasp and grit his teeth under too-warm covers with just his hands. The kisses are even better, because Suga feels like he can make up for all the time he's spent worrying, trying not to peek at Daichi's sleeping face or the face he makes when he's concentrating.

Everyone on the team looks surprised when they find out, and Suga's expecting...well, he doesn't know what he's expecting, but it's not for all of them to express that they thought they'd been dating the whole time, while Daichi bends his head and runs his hand through his hair, laughing awkwardly.

“I like you,” he says, every so often, just because he can, and Daichi always responds with “I like you, too,” squeezes his hand and they end up laughing, giddy and dumb.

Suga may still be head over heels for Daichi, but he thinks maybe Daichi is a little head over heels for him, too.


End file.
